Linda Denison (GamerMom) and I “met cute.” I was 24 and had run out of money on the streets of San Francisco. My parents offered rescue: Either come to Birmingham Alabama to live with them (that’s where they lived at the time) or move to Milwaukee Wisconsin, where I was born and had ample extended family. I chose Milwaukee, figuring I’d take a year or two to get back on my feet and then head back to the coast. All that changed 3 weeks after I arrived and I agreed to go on a blind date with a nurse who worked on my Aunt’s floor. We moved in together 4 months later. That was 12 years ago. We were married on October 31st, 1998. That was nine years ago…. today!

First off, why Halloween? We didn’t have a Goth wedding and the costumes we wore were, y’know, a tuxedo and wedding dress (no, we didn’t switch outfits). We did a Harvest theme with pumpkin centerpieces, hay bales, and we used a giant octagonal barn located at Old World Wisconsin (one of those historic parks where they relocated actual centuries old houses and put them together to recreate a town). We had all the little cousins, nieces and nephews come in costume, which was adorable. So, why Halloween? Two reasons. One: it was a Saturday and Linda wanted an October (read: cool weather) wedding. Two: one of the pagan holidays Halloween is based on is the “Feast of Samhain.” It was believed on that day dead ancestors would come to celebrate with the living for a feast. Since I’d lost so many dear people in my family, and since Linda’s dad died when she was six, I liked that idea a lot. Anyway, that’s why we choose Halloween.

Nine years!

Next year is the big one. 10 years. And we plan on either jetting to Europe or San Francisco, depending on the money situation. Tonight we celebrate nine years and it’s a very special anniversary for me. Why? Because when we met I fell hard for her. When we married fell even harder. Each kid defied the laws of physics that govern love by increasing it exponentially. And each year saw our passion grow, our love deepen. But two months ago I almost died. I came very close and while I suffered a great deal in the hospital, Linda’s trials were far worse. I’m told that for three days she didn’t eat and rarely slept. She stood at my bedside and massaged my hands and feet (a brilliant trick for deferring pain). She spoke to me, brought me water, and used a cool cloth. Later, when I became more lucid, she talked me down from anxiety and panic attacks and acted as my advocate by interpreting what the doctors, surgeons, and nurses were saying and protecting me from mistakes and medical errors. She slept in a cot and helped me with pain meds through many nights. (Thanks again to my parents whose 40th anniversary was spoiled by my heart attacks and who took terrific care and brought a semblance of normalcy for our children during that long two weeks I was at the hospital.)

She proved that when she promised nine years ago to love me in sickness and health, she meant it with every fiber of her being.

We normally don’t give gifts for anniversaries but this year is different. One controversy over our wedding was that Linda didn’t take my last name. Was it because “Bub” is kind of a silly name? She claimed that it was more to honor her father and because her career was based on being Linda Denison. I truly didn’t mind.

This year, before my heart attacks, she quietly and secretly decided, in her words, that she was proud of the name “Bub” that I and our children were carrying and she started the process of changing her name to: Linda Denison Bub. That’s her gift to me. Her love, her devotion, her body and soul, our children, our house, our life together, her patience, encouragement, nine years and now my name.

I can only hope to live up and be worthy of that but for now, she’s just content that I’m alive. Not knowing how to match her gift, I got her an iPhone and let her choose the movie tonight. We’re going to go see that new Steve Carrell chick-flick and have dinner at the restaurant of her choosing.

Linda Bub, I still can’t help falling in love with you. Thanks for a wonderful life.

Tags: Misc