by Steve Fulton

What do they say about “three times” again? 

Ricardo Montalban: RIP (late, I know)

As Spy Kids 3D: Game Over begins, Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara) has quit the spy business and become a private eye. However, life has not been easy since he left his spy work behind. He hasnﾒt seen his family in months, and he can’t seem to do anything right. Even his attempt to buy the brand-new video-game to end all video games, Game Over made by the mysterious Toy Maker is mercilessly thwarted. After a quick visit from his friend Gerti Giggles, Juni is thrust back into the life of a Spy Kid. He learns his sister Carmen (Alexa Vega) is missing, and his absence from the Spy Kids has only made her situation more dire. Carmen was attempting to make it through the mysterious 5th level of Game Over, but disappeared somewhere on the 4th. As it turns out, the Toy Maker (Sylvester Stallone) has evil plans to for world domination (well, duh!), and only Juni can stop him. He must enter the game, find his sister, and make it further in the game than anyone has ever ventured. At this point, Juni enters the game world, the audience puts on their 3D glasses, and the ‘fun’ begins.

I’m a huge fan of Robert Rodriguez’s previous two Spy Kids movies. Both were highly imaginative works, using a child-like imagination, and superb scripts to create highly satisfying movies. While this movie retains something child-like, it is not just its imagination. This time instead, it seems like a child wrote the movie as well. The story, what there is of it, is difficult to follow, and if you try, makes very little sense. The acting, especially by Stallone, is scene maulingly over the top (pun intended). Unlike the previous movies, the messages about family and forgiveness are delivered (literally) with a hammer the size of a giant robot. If you are looking for an articulate, thought provoking time at the movies, this rush-job will only disappoint.

It’s beneficial then, that this movie does have more to offer than just its story, message and acting. This is the first film in many years to be released in 3D, and because that simple fact, it is worth seeing in the movie theater. Possibly to save money, Rodriguez decided to not use the more modern Stereovision 3D, and instead uses the classic red/blue lenses that wowed 50’s audiences with films like The Wax Museum. Points have to be awarded here, for style at least. Just watching the crowd (and especially your own children) put on their glasses at appropriate times, and move wildly with the action is worth the price of a bargain admission. As well, the red/blue tint the glasses paint the screen gives the movie a Tron-like feel. There are many other references to Tron, as well as video and computer games. Most of the humorous moments are pulled from this bag of tricks, and they work fairly well. The videogame sequences, involving mechs, racing, and hand-to-hand fighting are genuinely thrilling, especially in 3D. However, there are more problems here than anything else. Juni’s grandfather (Ricardo Montalban) shows-up to lend a hand, and in theory, it’s a great concept. The bond between grandparent and grandchild is a very powerful one, and an examination of this would have added some nuance to the rather forced proceedings. However, this chance is quickly wasted, and in the end, only the heavy-handed messages prevail. Furthermore, the movieﾒs ending is a complete mess. Not since the ﾓonly one Droid-Control Ship out of many left guarding Naboo for no apparent reason other than to let the whoops boy save the dayﾔincident in Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace has an ending been so riotously disappointing in a fantasy/sci-fi film with such a strong pedigree. The whole thing seems under-written, forced, and quickly shoved out the door to make its summer release date.

It’s sad to see the Spy Kids trilogy and on such a sour note. This movie seems more like a theme-park ride than a feature-length film. A 20-minute version would have been a perfect Universal Studios attraction, right up there with Shrek 3D and Termintor 3D. I would have rather had Rodriguez spend his 3D fantasies that way, and then deliver a true finale to the trilogy when it was good and ready. I’m sad to see the series go, but maybe this movie is a sign that the very talented Robert Rodriguez has run out of clever ideas for his Spy Kids, and need to move onto other things.

Kid Factor: While you are griping about your headache from the 3D glasses, the horrible acting, and the fact that this movie has no coherent story, your kids will be having a wildly good time. For youngsters who have never witnessed a real feature length 3D movie in the theater, it may be a revelation. The video game setting mixed with the 3D visuals will strike right at the heart of what most modern kids think is really cool. Older kids might notice that this outing pales in comparison to the two earlier entries in the series, but younger ones may insist that this one is the best one yet.

MPAA Rating: Rated PG for action sequences and peril
GamerDad Age Recommendation: 6+

GAMERDAD’S TAKE:  I love that Ricardo Montalban is in this movie and I think the basic premise – kids fight in video game to save world from Sly Stallone with help from Grandpa – is fantastic. But the movie itself is ultimately… crap. We’ll always have Khan, Fantasy Island and rich Corinthian leather though.

Tags: Movies with Children