It’s my birthday.  The First Day of the Rest of my Life.

Yep, it is and believe me. for a while there it looked like I wasn’t going to see another one of these. I’m still grappling with it. Almost dying late last summer I mean. 37 is the age when men tend to have a “midlife crisis” – the “heart attack revelation” is supposed to be reserved for those north of 50 – and I’m still dealing with the notion that my “midlife crisis” might have been the end of me. I still think about it a bit. I still get thoughtful email from  people asking about my heart. My heart is good. Strong.

Hey, I walked through every neighborhood, taking pictures all the while, in Manhatten, and I did it 3 days in a row. I’m healthy now. Healthy . . . but changed.

My heart attack was atypical. No numb left arm, no loss of breath, no tingling, no severe pain from the left of the chest and radiating through to the back. I had bad heartburn, pain on the RIGHT side, and that’s it. Still, Elizabeth, it was indeed the big one.

* If Linda had fallen asleep when the heart attack got worse.

* If the kids hadn’t conveniently been sleeping over at a friend’s house – not only a rare occurance, I think it’s happened exactly twice!

* If we’d waited longer than the moronic 3 hours we did wait.

* Surgical complications or maybe that pulmonary embolism (which causes strokes) they found in my lung.

I’d be dead at 36 1/2. That means I would have missed out on Favre’s magic season. On video games like Rock Band. On movies like There Will Be Blood and television like the the latest 30 Rock. I wouldn’t have watched – and been bored, annoyed, bored, then amused, then bored – by Barack Obama sparring with Hillary. All of that is arguably superficial. Sure, it is, but I think about the superficial a lot more. I take a lot less for granted.

On the the important stuff: I wouldn’t have seen GamerDad hit the next level with the Ask GamerDad column at WhatTheyPlay and our collab oration with the ESRB and National PTA.

I would have known my wife for only 13 years, my daughter for 7 and son for 4. (This is the one that usually stops me cold.) 

I wouldn’t have watched in amazement, from the hospital, as over 1000 strangers, gamers, parents and even game industry luminaries and a Hollywood actor or two donated cash to GamerDad in my family’s time of need.

I need to get to know these people more – all the good people in my life. Especially since I now know aq little bit more about how they feel about me. It’s not quite like attending your own funeral, but coming to the brink does affect everyone around you. The encouraging notes sent by the 1000 donators lifted my spirits easily as much as the sums did. My friend Zane visited me at the hospital, my parents came up in a flash from Arkansas to take care of my kids, my children – so young – never lost faith in me. They were brave for mommy – they really think I’m a superhero. 

My wife who . . . I still hear people praise Linda for her actions during that time. She was at my bedside through my delirium. She talked me out of severe anxiety attacks (pain’ll do that). She managed my meds and helped me with the doctors and nurses. She slept over almost every one of the 15 nights.

I wasn’t surprised by that Linda. I’ve always known, trusted, and reciprocated your love and friendship.

“I have a love in my life that makes me stronger than you can possibly imagine” – Punch Drunk Love

It feels good to turn 37. Every day feels good. Happy Birthday to me!

Now, lets get back to work!

Graphic “borrowed” from Penny-Arcade.com.  It’s available on a T-shirt.

Tags: Misc