Portal
“This is a triumph!” I have a few holes in my game knowledge, but I did play Portal a bit when it came out – you know, right after my massive heart episode. Anyway, the game didn’t mix well with Vicodin, so I played long enough to get that GLaDOS was hilarious and insane and that the game itself was a work of genius. Oh, I also fell in love with “I’m Still Alive” in Rock Band. Well, Portal 2 is coming and I decided to finally finish the first one. Actually, I started it over and for two days I became obsessed.
I already knew why Portal was being called “Game of the Year” and I think I may have given it that honor as well, simply for proving that first person shooters could involve no shooting – well, no gun shooting.
Turns out I was right – but I had no concept of HOW right I was. This game is the finest puzzle game I’ve ever played, one of the best first-person games I’ve ever played and also the funniest game I ever played.
So many one-liners, insults, lies and more come at you at a breakneck pace, while you try to figure out how to use a portal device – you can place a Blue portal here and an Orange portal over there in a safe place to navigate traps, but you can only do it on certain kinds of surfaces – and the pride you feel when you figure it out. (Ok, I confess, I had to use a strategy guide for Level 18, the one before the massive level at the end.) The beginning is strong, but the ending is superb and for the duration, what’s going on is a genuine mystery.
From the fiendish yet likable AI saying:
“There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all of your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, ‘the Companion Cube’. Of course, he couldn’t come, because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn’t come either, because you don’t have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file; ‘Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.’ SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That’s exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that’s funny too.”
To:
Finding “The cake is a lie!” scrawled on the walls.
To:
“I don’t blame you” – a machine gun says this after you kill it by portaling it away or simply knocking it over. Other guns say “Why?” or “Nap Time” and quite a few other witticisms.
This is a game every 10+ child should be forced to play. The violence is restrained, there’s no blood (except in the writing on the walls – and that could be red paint) and the game truly tests spatial knowledge, creativity and more fancy educational type things than almost any game in recent memory. It’s also only $15 for PC or part of a not-so-kid friendly bundle called The Orange Box (which can easily be found used for almost every system). I can’t wait for Portal 2 now. This is why I’m a gamer.
SPOILER highlight to read:
The cake is a lie, is a lie. In fact there are only two GLaDOS’ TRUTHS is that the cake is really your reward.And it looks delicious. The other truth is about laying flat with your arms at your sides will summon the Party Bots to take you to the party. They do. And it’s so frustrating for your character. The ending is awesome but the sense of the character’s plight when the candle goes out is both hilarious and painful.
I want to have a lively discussion below, so if you haven’t play it, I recommend avoiding the spoilers. Seriously. This is a game that benefits sooo much from surprise.
April 13th, 2010 at 11:48 am
I absolutely LOVE Portal (and the rest of the Orange Box)! I’m on Room 18 right now and I can’t, for the life of me, figure it out. Yes, this should be required playing before someone is allowed to drive, drink, vote, or marry. Definitely amazing stuff.
April 13th, 2010 at 11:55 am
Portal is an absolutely briliant game and the sole reason why I bought The Orange Box. GlaDOS is hilarious and I purposely jumped into the fire at the last boss battle so I could hear all of GlaDOS’ funny quips again! I’ll be getting Portal 2 on day 1. –Cary
April 13th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Cross, Gamefaqs can help you out. Level 18 is simply FIENDISH. But I understand if you want to do it yourself. Oddly Level 19 is much easier, but absolutely gigantic!
April 13th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Once you finish this excellent game, you must play it again with the commentaries turned on. You play the same game but each level has floating dialog clouds that you can click to play the commentaries.
Excellent on every point.
April 13th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
I saw that and I’ll do it right before Portal 2 comes out. I want some distance from the game before I play it again – and some practice before the sequel. Developer commentaries… what a great concept!
April 13th, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Yeah, the Portal commentaries are a clever idea. They kind of remind me of the secret levels in Ratchet and Clank games where you can visit a mock Insomniac office and view commentaries and scrapped ideas from the team. I especially liked the commentary from the lady who did the voice of GlaDOS. She’s nuts! –Cary
April 14th, 2010 at 5:06 pm
Oh man, I loved this game so much. I downloaded it standalone before I got the Orange Box (although I have that now too, but I got it for Half-Life). I really need to play it again, it’s been quite a while. I’ll have to check out that commentary.
I always thought those turrets were incredibly creepy. “I don’t hate you…” “No hard feelings…”
Jeez, okay, just shut up and die please. Thanks.
April 15th, 2010 at 6:52 am
GLaDOS=Best Video Game Villain Ever?
April 15th, 2010 at 11:43 am
That… that is a really good question. Recent years I’d probably but in the long ago times you’ve got SHODAN (another evil computer) from System Shock, Irenicus from Baldur’s Gate 1 & 2, … and Bowser? Anyone wanna give it up for Bowser? Why can’t I think of more?
April 15th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Speaking of System Shock, do you know if it’s available or Mac? As a huge fan of Bioshock, I’d really love to play it, but neither I nor my family owns a PC.
April 18th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Very nice site! Network Information Portal Thank you very much
April 21st, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Personally, I think the game portal is probably one of the most brilliant games I have ever played (like everyone else here) but I will point out that if you get shot by the turret-like things blood does splatter on the walls (and I find it a bit amusing that it takes about, oh, 100 bullets to kill you.)
And I agree, you should not be allowed to drive (or vote, etc.) if you can not beat portal.
April 26th, 2010 at 10:40 pm
I wholeheartedly agree that Portal is the finest first-person puzzle game every created… but in keeping with the ‘kid-friendly’ theme of the site, I did want to point out one minor detail that was overlooked; When the cute-voiced turrets dispense their product (shoot at Chell), any nearby walls or objects get spattered with blood pretty quickly. Though it’s not a big deal to adults, I could see how this might surprise and scare younger kids. However, I’d agree with your recommendation of 10+ – they should be able to handle the obvious visual indicator of ‘damage taken.’