Recently I played and reviewed the new PS3 fighting game Guilty Gear Xrd –SIGN–.  A lot of times when I play a new fighting game, I like to talk about the characters a bit.  So here’s a blog about my top ten favorite Guilty Gear characters.  Just a fair warning, though.  I was in a silly mood when I wrote this, and I usually like characters who are silly anyway so this blog will be a little goofy.  Plus I don’t have a whole lot of knowledge of the Guilty Gear franchise.  I’ve only played this new game and Guilty Gear Dust Strikers on the DS.  And the only reason why I got the DS version was because it was on sale and had silly little mini-games featuring some of the fighters.  I have watched some of my friends play the other Guilty Gear games, though.  And the characters I listed here aren’t in any particular order of preference.  So anyway, let’s begin!

Faust

This guy is really weird!  He’s super tall and fights with a giant scalpel.  He says he’s a doctor, but I’m not so sure.  His biggest feature is that he wears a paper sack on his head with eye holes cut out.  I’m thinking that at a young age, his father couldn’t catch the baby kangaroo that he thought was a giant mouse (oh please SOMEONE get that reference).  Faust also has a lot of silly attacks.  In Xrd, I can make him turn into a baseball player and smack the opponent with a bat!  And when I watched my friends play one time, they made him teleport by opening imaginary doors!  What a crazy guy!

Millia Rage

Only thing cool about her is that she fights with her hair.  But that’s still pretty neat so she goes on my list.  Someone should draw some fan art of her exercising, but her hair lifts the weights instead of her!  That would be silly!

May

She’s some kind of pirate girl who fights by swinging around a giant anchor that’s as big as she is!  So she must be really strong!  Maybe she eats her spinach.  She is a sailor, so that would make sense (not really).  She can also summon dolphins to attack, I saw my friends do that once when I watched them play.  Another good thing about this character is she’s not all mean and rude and dark and brooding like a lot of fighter characters are.  She’s happy and cheerful.

I-No

“Hey, who’s your favorite Guilty Gear character?”

“I-No.”

“That’s great, I’m glad you know.  Do you know their name?”

“I-No.”

“OK, great, can you can tell me who it is?”

“I keep telling you, I-No!”

“SO WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME THEIR NAME?!?”

“THAT’S WHAT I KEEP TRYING TO TELL YOU!!!”

Sorry, I kind of shifted into Abbott and Costello mode there.  Actually I think her name is pronounced “Eee-No” but then my above joke wouldn’t work as well.  I-No is cool because she wears a neat hat and plays a rock guitar.  Only problem with her is that she’s kind of mean.

Baiken

The only reason why she’s on the list is because she has pink hair.  If you are a video game character and have pink hair, you have a pretty good chance of getting on my favorites list.  And I’m pretty sure her name is pronounced “Buy-Ken,” not “Bacon.”  Although that would be pretty funny.  One interesting thing about this character is that she lost her right arm and her left eye, presumably to a fight, I suppose.  That kind of makes me sad because she’ll have a hard time playing video games, but I imagine playing video games is the last thing on a Guilty Gear character’s mind, which is ironic since they all are video game characters.  I’ve been blind in my left eye since birth, so I guess I can relate to Baiken that way.  If I can be serious for a moment, I’d like to say that this kind of character is a good reminder to us that we should be thankful that we have our eyesight and arms and hands so we can play video games and lots of other things.  Sometimes I think we take things like this for granted.

Jam

I can’t remember how to spell her last name, because it’s pretty long, so she’ll just be ‘Jam’ here.  She’s cool because I think she’s like a waitress or a chef in a restaurant, so I think it’s funny her name is Jam.  Also, in Guilty Gear Dust Strikers on the DS, there are a few mini-games featuring chibi versions of the characters, and in Jam’s game she has to catch falling food.  I wish more fighting games would do silly mini-games like that.  Sadly, both Baiken and Jam are not playable in Guilty Gear Xrd, unless they are unlockable or will be DLC later on.

Bedman

I don’t really like this character that much, but I do appreciate how creative it is.  Anyway, it’s a small, sickly, skinny guy asleep in a bed.  Or it could be a girl, I’m not sure.  But since his name is BedMAN, we’ll say it’s a guy for now.  Anyway, he’s strapped to this bed that is like a robot that does all the fighting for him while he sleeps.  I tell you what, if I were a fighting game character, I’d love to do everything while I sleep.  I’m pretty good at staying active and in shape, but I also really like to sleep, too.  It’s one of the few things I’m good at!

Potemkin

If you’re a giant robot guy who looks like a Mega Man boss (think Commando Man from Mega Man 10), then yeah, you’re going to be on my list.

Dizzy

Well she has neat wings and blue hair, but I mainly like her because her name is “Dizzy.”  How can you not like someone whose name is Dizzy?

Ramlethal Valentine

I think she’s supposed to be a villain, but she has these two happy face balloon things that help her attack.  I’m not sure what they are, but they’re kind of creepy and neat at the same time.

Venom

Now if you’re paying attention, you may be thinking, “Hey wait a minute Cary, this is 11 characters, not ten.”  Well it’s my list and I felt like putting another character in, so there.  Venom is cool because he uses a pool stick to fight, and will hit floating billiard balls to attack you.  Can anyone remember if there was a Venom pool mini-game in Guilty Gear Dust Strikers?  It’s been a long time since I played it.  If there wasn’t a pool mini-game with Venom, there should’ve been!

Conclusions

And that’s all for now!  In the comments section, let me know what you think of my list, and tell me if there are any other Guilty Gear characters that you think I’d like.  And let me know your favorite Guilty Gear characters, too!  Later!  –Cary

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