Drink More Glurp (Switch, PC)

What if aliens from another planet watched Earth’s sporting events and wanted to try them for themselves.  Would they get the sports right?  Maybe, but maybe not.  Drink More Glurp is a physics-based track and field style sports multiplayer game with goofy product sponsors and even sillier events.  It’s available on Switch and PC but reviewed on Switch here.

The alien athletes you control only have two limbs that look like arms, but they really act more like legs.  Rotate the analog sticks on the JoyCon controllers to ‘run.’  If you hold both sticks up, the alien will hold its limbs up as well.  Then quickly press down on both and the alien will do the same and this is how you jump.  Hold the shoulder button to grab onto objects and release to let them go.  You’ll compete in all types of sporting events from straight up marathons to hurdle jumping, obstacle courses, distance throwing, and much more.  Sometimes events will have a silly alien product sponsor, which will create some kind of random happening for that challenge.  Although I really didn’t notice much difference when I played.

There are two main modes of play.  The tournament option is the multiplayer mode where you can choose to play a certain number of events in a row and whoever has the most points at the end, wins.  For single players, you can try challenges where you must complete certain events in a given time.  Do well enough here and you can unlock accessories for your aliens to wear.

The main problem I had with this game were the controls.  I know these kinds of games are supposed to have awkward controls, but I just could never get the hang of things like picking up objects and throwing them.  Plus I’m just not a big fan of games where they make things harder by messing with the controls.  I guess I just don’t ‘get it.’  Also, constantly rotating your analog sticks sounds like it could really wear out your JoyCons quickly.  And some of the events were a bit unclear as to what you’re supposed to do.  I guess if you have a bunch of friends over to play this and don’t mind not doing well in the game, it’s all right.  But otherwise it just didn’t grab me.

Kid Factor:

Drink More Glurp is rated E-10 with ESRB descriptors of Crude Humor and Mild Fantasy Violence.  There are explosive bomb balls that can knock you back, but that’s about as violent as it gets.  Reading skill is helpful but not necessary to play, however, younger gamers may get frustrated at the controls.

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