With the wonderful Orange Box now released, review sites, forums and chat channels around the internet are ablaze with critiques, comments, and strategy discussions for the various games. Here, I bring you a public service announcement:

There is no such thing as a turrent*.

The turret – a self-contained weapons platform housing guns and capable of rotation – is a Half-Life staple. If you’re at all familiar with the games, you know that whining start-up sound by heart. I use it as a ringtone on my phone for those people that I really need to be paying attention to, as the panic rising in my throat that accompanies that sound never fails to stir me from my current task, even if that task is playing Peggle.

Anyway, turrets are an important part of the Orange Box, appearing in every included game. They’re particularly notable in Portal, but as that whole game is best played without knowing anything about it, I’ll say no more.

Let’s take a closer look at that word again.

T. U. R. R. E. T.

T as in Tau Cannon. U as in Unforeseen Consequences. R as in Resistance. R as in Ravenholm. E as in Eli Vance. T as in Turret Does Not Have An N In It.

Why then, do people insist on calling them “turrents”? It doesn’t matter whether it’s blogs blindly copying from each other (a particularly amusing example considering the source isn’t N happy), well-meaning but poorly-informed game developers providing tutorials, model-making photographers, sci-fi artists, avid Warhawk players, or anyone else that appears in the first few pages of Google results because I’m too lazy to go any further – if I see you putting an N in “turret” I’m going to punch you square in the face.

I’m glad I’m not alone.

* Alright, I’m willing to concede that turrent may be a word in some niche industry jargon, but let’s not get pedantic about it.

Tags: Misc